unknownrival | [RL - Tea with Vanessa after lunch.]

Issei shook his head. "No, he's from a different world. I met him here. And I don't know - I don't really think we're at the point that we'd be around each other all the time anyway, even were we on the same world. We've only had two dates, after all..."

He probably shouldn't comment about how she had wanted to spend all her time with the crazy person. He was rapidly discovering that there was a lot about her life that he didn't want to talk about.

"How'd you meet?" she asked, resting her chin on her knuckles again, watching him intently. "I know you mean through the community and all, but what was it? Just replied to each others' posts until you realised you liked each other or...what?"

"Well, we started out just replying to each other's posts, and I was usually the one to reassure him whenever something made him panic. Then we were affected by the virus that made us stay in constant physical contact for a few days." Issei reddened a little more. "Waking up cuddling with someone else is one way to meet them in person, I suppose..."

"That's true," she replied with a grin of her own. "I was stuck with Elphaba on the first day and Sam Witwicky on the second. I was, probably unfortunately, completely free of it for the other two days that it apparently went on for everyone else."

She noticed his reddening and hid her face by taking another sip of the tea. He was just too damn cute.

"I'm glad I was just attached to Haruto and didn't switch to other people. Physical contact aside, it was nice having him visit, and I didn't mind holding his hand that much either. And..." Issei shuddered. "If it was embarrassing enough waking up with him next to me, how would I have fared if it had been a girl? No, I'm very grateful that it was Haruto."

"Why are you so afraid of girls anyway?" she asked, moving on to another topic entirely. "I know a girl once shot you...I'm pretty sure I scared you shitless when I came over...but what happened? Some sort of unrequited love in school? Bad memories of an overbearing mother or aunt or cousin? I mean, really, what?"

Issei blinked. That was a bit of an uncommon question. "Definitely not either of those, I've only liked a girl that way once and that was fairly recently, comparatively. And I don't think I have any female relatives that I know. I'm not much of a psychologist, but I'd guess it's a late introduction to the female gender plus an innate fear of the unknown."

He shrugged. "I would have been almost as scared if you'd been a man, really, since you were still furious at me and armed with boots."

"Ungh..." she commented, shuddering as she did so. "I've heard and seen people have their genders swapped here for little to no reason. I couldn't ever imagine being a man...I wouldn't know what to do with myself. And if you think I'm tall now, well, I could be turned into some monstrous man towering half over six foot."

She went back to her tea, dainty hands holding it politely, once broken but now healed small finger extended. "I don't think I could really deal with that in a way that wouldn't involve me not freaking out."

Issei groaned. "My first virus was being turned into a woman. Believe me, you're right to be glad to have never been affected by that."

Now she was probably going to interrogate him about every detail of the genderswap, but it was worth it to be able to complain.

"Tell me more," she said, motioning for him to sit again. "What was like, for you, to be a different gender all of a sudden?"

She thought about it a moment. "I have a feeling I wouldn't be able to figure out how to use the restroom or how to keep my...newfound genitalia...from chafing and be stuck wearing loose pants. I'd probably have to borrow some from William, since he's only about two inches taller than me..."

Issei took a seat, shaking his head ruefully. "Since at that point I hadn't explained the community to my father or anyone, I had to leave and stay in a hotel, since I doubted they'd believe me if I told them who I was. I spent most of the first day wearing a blanket over my clothes that didn't fit at all and trying to ignore that I was a different gender. It didn't work. Thankfully, one of my friends bought me clothes that weren't so... tight." Why did he have to take after his mother in breast size, anyway?

"And then he took me out to dinner, and that was awkward and I'll thank you not to ask about that. Please."

"Well, I would assume if you get breasts your clothes would be tight," she mused aloud, setting the teacup down. She put her hands in her lap in case anything inflammatory came up so she wouldn't go breaking another cup again. "But then again, women tend to have more petite bodies than men, so I would assume your undergarments and pants wouldn't fit so much anymore."

"The pants were fine, but the shirts were definitely too tight to the point of being painful," he grumbled. "And I don't know why Archer felt the need to buy me a dress, I would've preferred to just stay with the shirts and pants..." Probably because that would have been his only chance to force his once-male friend into a dress, and he couldn't resist the temptation. A better question was, why did he agree to wear it in the first place?

"You wore a dress?" she asked, positively befuddled at the very idea of Issei, the short little boy in front of her, with a huge bosom and a dress. It was so ridiculous, but she held back any laughter that should have been coming from such a statement. "Was it...nice? A nice, modest dress at least?"

"Oh, of course it was modest. I would've thrown it in his face and removed him from my room had he told me he wanted to wear something immodest," Issei answered. "Cut-wise and length-wise, it was about the same as my maid dress, only much less embarrassing afterward." Why did he keep bringing up his embarrassing viruses anyway?

"Ah, yes, I remember teasing you about the maid cafe thing," she replied, lips quirking up a little on both sides but not enough to make a smile. She once again hid her little smile by taking a sip of tea. "I would imagine crossdressing to be the last thing a monk would want to do."

"Well, it ranks above thievery," Issei pointed out, sipping his own tea again. "I don't know how I was convinced during the virus that it was a perfectly reasonable part-time job. I suppose it's just a side effect of the community's all-encompassing power."

"Well...I've only been infected by three, as far as I know. The one like you and your boyfriend, Jurassic Park, and the dream virus."

She hummed thoughtfully, not tapping her fingers idly against the table, injured hand waving over to get the steam again. Sweat it out. "So I suppose I should be grateful in that regard."

"I was also affected by the dream virus... let me think for a moment." Issei started counting off on his fingers. "Genderswap virus, musical virus, attack of the killer inanimate objects virus, pranking virus, Valentine's Day virus, inner thoughts virus, Engrish virus, physical contact virus, drunk virus, psychology virus, dream virus, and maid virus. That's twelve so far in the year I've been in this community."

He let out a long sigh. "Sometimes I don't know why I'm still here."

Vanessa pulled the teacup from her lips as he listed twelve viruses that had all happened thanks to this duck place. She could hardly believe the words coming out of his mouth. Twelve? Twelve?

"That...seems like overkill to me," she murmured, eyes darting around as she thought about what he'd said. Would she soon have a list as big as his was? Twelve...she couldn't imagine it. She was under enough stress as it was without her thoughts being read or singing at random or having her toaster turn on her. That was a little much to take in, and she grew quiet for several long moments.

"As far as I know, you can't leave unless the community lets you, right?"

Oh, those weren't all the viruses that had happened while he was there, those were just the ones he'd been affected by. ...Which probably was worse, all things considered.

"I'm not sure," he replied, leaning back in his chair a little. "I know when you haven't joined yet, it often won't let you leave until it knows that you're going to stay. But I've rarely seen anyone try to leave after they've been here for a few weeks. With my luck, I'd swear off the community for a month, have no contact with my friends, and still be affected by the next virus."

"This place sure is rather fickle," she remarked, looking around as she took another sip of her tea. Her bladder was starting to fill, so she crossed her legs again until she had the urge to use the restroom. "I didn't know you could stay away for such a long time. It seems like...it would draw you back in no matter what, you know? That after a few days it would demand some attention and have you thrust back into the madness."

Issei nodded. "I'd like to be free of the viruses, but I couldn't just not talk to all of my friends on here. And what if something were to happen to one of them and I didn't know because I hadn't been watching the community? I couldn't let that happen, so I've stayed. And so far, I think staying has been the right decision."

"I know a man who'd be quite glad if I was taken away from the community and he didn't have to deal with me anymore."

She brought the teacup to her lips and finished it off, eyes looking off to the side as she took in the...interesting...flavour of the kelp tea, something she'd never had before. It was an odd sort of aftertaste that it provided, but she was certain she could get used to it after a while.

"Really? Who?" he asked, tilting his head a little to the side. "I mean, aside from the crazy people you're involved with, obviously. And did you enjoy your tea? Well, you must have or you wouldn't have asked for a second cup."

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