[Voice post - worst fear virus.]

[unknownrival]

Really, Shirou, if you're home for the week, you should at least answer the door. [Issei sounds about as calm as normal, if a tad annoyed.] I told you I was coming over, so you have no excuse. Ah, well, it's for reasons like this that I have a key.

[The sound of footseps.] Not in the living room... He's probably in the shed and couldn't hear me, I suppose. [More of Issei's footsteps.]

It's locked. Shirou, are you in there? [A moment's pause.] No answer. Maybe he's out w-

Isn't that blood?

[There's a few loud blunt sounds, like someone throwing themselves bodily at a door, then a loud crash.]

Shirou?! Please be okay, please be okay, this isn't allowed to happen, that sort of thing can't happen if I'm here, you have to be okay, please- Why, why aren't you breathing, you can't not be breathing, I have to protect you, I won't forgive you if you don't start breathing this instant! Are you listening?! I'm telling you to start recovering! Please, please, please-

How could I let such a thing... I wasn't here fast enough. I won't forgive myself for not able to protect you.

((Issei's worst fear is being unable to protect a friend. And before anyone asks, the dead body is a virus-induced illusion - I won't really kill off Shirou as an NPC.))

Comments

[gonnabe1st.livejournal.com]

It wasn't your intention, and it isn't your fault.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

Of course it's my fault! I should have been able to do something, anything to stop it! What kind of friend allows their friends to die?

[gonnabe1st.livejournal.com]

You said he could create swords with his mind. He was perfectly able to defend himself. Had you been there, you would have been dead also.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

But he's an idiot! At the very least I could have - I don't know, bought time for him to run or something so that he wasn't killed!

[gonnabe1st.livejournal.com]

And then you'd be dead in his stead. He'd be as miserable as you are right now. Would you like that better?

[stripping.livejournal.com]

He'd get over it.

[gonnabe1st.livejournal.com]

So will you. Give it time.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

I don't think so.

[gonnabe1st.livejournal.com]

A close friend's death. Why do you think it'd be easier for him to cope with?

[stripping.livejournal.com]

He's always been higher in my esteem than I was in his. And he was going to do more good in the world than I ever will. And he... he doesn't fail at protecting people like I do. I didn't want to lose someone again...

[gonnabe1st.livejournal.com]

Issei, stop blaming yourself. No-one ever wants to lose someone important to them.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

But I... if I can't protect my friends, what good am I?

[gonnabe1st.livejournal.com]

You're plenty of good. I remember your quest for helping Archer.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

Even that, does that matter in the end? He's gone now, and...

No, I can't think that. Even not knowing what happens to the community members who disappear, I know he won't return to that fate.

[gonnabe1st.livejournal.com]

There, that sounds much better. Because it matters.

Where are you right now?

[stripping.livejournal.com]

I... I should go home, but at the moment I'm still at Shirou's house.

[gonnabe1st.livejournal.com]

Your boyfriend. Is he at your house? I don't think it'd be a good idea for you to be alone right now.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

No, Haruto's not there. And I'm fine, really, I... well, no.

[gonnabe1st.livejournal.com]

You're far from fine. Anyone would be.
So, I really think it'd be a good idea for you two to spend some time together now. Even if it's just to find a way to distract yourself.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

I'll try that, but I don't - I don't know if it'll work.

[gonnabe1st.livejournal.com]

Trying sounds good for starters.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

But he's... well, I suppose someone who deals with ghosts must have to know how to deal with death, but still...

[gonnabe1st.livejournal.com]

I think he'll feel better if he doesn't have to deal with that alone, too.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

I'll try.