[Video]

[unknownrival]

[Issei looks... alive, at least. He looks downcast, and when he speaks it's low and quiet. But he's alive.]

If there is anything worse than watching your body kill your best friend?

Don't tell me about it.

Comments

[action]

[croibhristeoir]

I don't know. I want to believe it is, but...were that the case, would this not have disappeared?

[Lancer finally moved his hand from behind his back to show Issei the Grief Seed he'd been holding.]

Perhaps it's lingered because I held on to it, or because that...really did happen.

[action]

[unknownrival]

...I'm going to continue to believe it is, until I can be proven wrong.

[action]

[croibhristeoir]

...

I could have saved her.

[action]

[unknownrival]

How?

[action]

[croibhristeoir]

When a magi like her falls to despair, they become one of the very witches they are dedicated to fighting. Had I only gotten there earlier or said the right things, I could have talked her out of it. I could have saved someone, but I failed.

That's all I ever do. Fail. All that remains of Mami is an empty shell and the leftover seed of a witch--that is my fault and my responsibility.

[action]

[unknownrival]

[He really just has nothing to say to that. He's starting to wonder if he can ever convince Diarmuid that he's not a failure.]

[action]

[croibhristeoir]

...I'm sorry. I...there is never anything I can do. The harder I fight, the more hopeless it seems. I couldn't save you, I couldn't prevent Mami from turning into the witch I killed, and I couldn't stop the community from broadcasting a similar fate for myself.

Death would have been merciful after all that, yet among all of us I was the one spared. It's sickening.

[action]

[unknownrival]

[Issei just has nothing to say that he hasn't already said. Diarmuid's existence is worthwhile, Diarmuid has done good things in the world, Diarmuid is not a failure at all and shouldn't be loathing himself for it.

He keeps quiet.]

[action]

[croibhristeoir]

...why--? Why won't you say anything? Have you finally realized what kind of pathetic Servant you so desperately wanted a contract with? Has it finally gotten through to you that I have never, will never be able to do anything right?

I almost wish it had been as simple for me as dying after killing my friend. Do you really want to know what is worse still than that? Watching your life fall apart, twice. Watching everyone you care about fight amongst themselves over something you did. Watching the life blink out of someone's eyes like a candle getting blown out before they turn into a monster you have to kill. Witnessing your best friend end up fighting his grandfather because of an imbecilic fight you started.

I hate this. I'm such a worthless shame to the Fianna, to my father, to everyone and I just HATE IT--!

[His fist slammed into the nearest wall--weakly, by his standards. It barely even left a crack, while his other hand still held Candeloro's Grief Seed like it was all he had left. Diarmuid ground his teeth together in frustration, eyes tightly closed as if he was trying to just block everything out. Almost as if he thought everything would just be back to normal if he rejected all of this enough...whatever 'normal' even was.]

[action]

[unknownrival]

...I'm sorry. I wish there was something I knew how to do.

[He never would think of Diarmuid as worthless. Never. But it seemed impossible to convince him of that, and trying only drove them both to more frustration.]

[action]

[croibhristeoir]

...There is nothing that anyone can do. Myself least of all.

[Wearing an uncharacteristically bitter look on his face, Lancer dissolved into spirit form without another word.]