[Voice post - worst fear virus.]

[unknownrival]

Really, Shirou, if you're home for the week, you should at least answer the door. [Issei sounds about as calm as normal, if a tad annoyed.] I told you I was coming over, so you have no excuse. Ah, well, it's for reasons like this that I have a key.

[The sound of footseps.] Not in the living room... He's probably in the shed and couldn't hear me, I suppose. [More of Issei's footsteps.]

It's locked. Shirou, are you in there? [A moment's pause.] No answer. Maybe he's out w-

Isn't that blood?

[There's a few loud blunt sounds, like someone throwing themselves bodily at a door, then a loud crash.]

Shirou?! Please be okay, please be okay, this isn't allowed to happen, that sort of thing can't happen if I'm here, you have to be okay, please- Why, why aren't you breathing, you can't not be breathing, I have to protect you, I won't forgive you if you don't start breathing this instant! Are you listening?! I'm telling you to start recovering! Please, please, please-

How could I let such a thing... I wasn't here fast enough. I won't forgive myself for not able to protect you.

((Issei's worst fear is being unable to protect a friend. And before anyone asks, the dead body is a virus-induced illusion - I won't really kill off Shirou as an NPC.))

Comments

[gonnabe1st.livejournal.com]

Blaming yourself now changes nothing. Just try and focus. The ambulance isn't going to come to the shed, is it? Going to the front door to show the way might be a good idea.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

I'll do that. I - I'll answer you again after they leave.

[gonnabe1st.livejournal.com]

Alright.

Several minutes later.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

He's dead, isn't he.

[gonnabe1st.livejournal.com]

...yeah. Sorry.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

How... How could I have allowed this to happen?!

[gonnabe1st.livejournal.com]

It wasn't your intention, and it isn't your fault.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

Of course it's my fault! I should have been able to do something, anything to stop it! What kind of friend allows their friends to die?

[gonnabe1st.livejournal.com]

You said he could create swords with his mind. He was perfectly able to defend himself. Had you been there, you would have been dead also.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

But he's an idiot! At the very least I could have - I don't know, bought time for him to run or something so that he wasn't killed!

[gonnabe1st.livejournal.com]

And then you'd be dead in his stead. He'd be as miserable as you are right now. Would you like that better?

[stripping.livejournal.com]

He'd get over it.

[gonnabe1st.livejournal.com]

So will you. Give it time.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

I don't think so.

[gonnabe1st.livejournal.com]

A close friend's death. Why do you think it'd be easier for him to cope with?

[stripping.livejournal.com]

He's always been higher in my esteem than I was in his. And he was going to do more good in the world than I ever will. And he... he doesn't fail at protecting people like I do. I didn't want to lose someone again...

[gonnabe1st.livejournal.com]

Issei, stop blaming yourself. No-one ever wants to lose someone important to them.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

But I... if I can't protect my friends, what good am I?

[gonnabe1st.livejournal.com]

You're plenty of good. I remember your quest for helping Archer.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

Even that, does that matter in the end? He's gone now, and...

No, I can't think that. Even not knowing what happens to the community members who disappear, I know he won't return to that fate.

[gonnabe1st.livejournal.com]

There, that sounds much better. Because it matters.

Where are you right now?

[stripping.livejournal.com]

I... I should go home, but at the moment I'm still at Shirou's house.

[gonnabe1st.livejournal.com]

Your boyfriend. Is he at your house? I don't think it'd be a good idea for you to be alone right now.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

No, Haruto's not there. And I'm fine, really, I... well, no.

[gonnabe1st.livejournal.com]

You're far from fine. Anyone would be.
So, I really think it'd be a good idea for you two to spend some time together now. Even if it's just to find a way to distract yourself.