unknownrival | [RL with Birkin - you! I wanna take you to a gay bar!]

Issei heard that rumbling sound and started clinging to Birkin again, hiding behind his back this time. "Th-this part is definitely 'freaky'. Gah! What is that sound?! It's coming closer, dear merciful Buddha..."

Birkin jumped at the sound too, backing away from the hallway slowly. He held his arm out in front of Issei, making him back up too. "Quiet! Be quiet!" he whispered furiously. "Just... No one needs to know I'm not the only one here, okay? So please. Stop. Screaming." He continued backing up though. "Breathe, Issei, just breathe... Nothing in here's going to kill you. They can't get out of the basement. Usually."

The rumbling sound grew closer and closer, a sortof rumbling, growling, squeaking sound. An indistinct shape formed in the darkness, too short to be a human being, moving too fast and too smoothly to be natural.

Then the wheel of the rolling office chair hit the slight bump where the hall met the flooring in the lobby, and Stein's chair overturned. He gave a yelp and landed flat on his back, still sitting in the chair.

He tilted his head back all the way, looking at them upside down.

"What sort of grocery store sells teenagers?" he asked.

Issei just stared for a few seconds. "...Is that what you said you were going to, Birkin?"

"Well, it's too late to pretend I wasn't here..." Issei bowed low, making eye contact with Stein on the floor. "I'm Ryudo Issei. It's nice to meet you, sir, and I promise not to make any trouble for you."

"Oh you stupid motherfucker!" Birkin screamed, not really caring if he woke everyone else up. "You nearly gave me a heart attack, goddamn it! What the hell is wrong with you?! You have legs just fucking..." He let out a grunt of frustration and he was damn sure his eye was starting to twitch. That chair. That fucking chair was going to find it's way to the bottom of the damn ocean at this rate.

Birkin looked confused for a second. What's all this about a grocer- Oh, right. "It's what they sell in the 'beyond' section of Bed, Bath & Beyond." He grabbed Issei by the shoulders and hauled him back a bit. "I thought he might brighten the place up a bit." Birkin smiled drunkenly.

"Iseei, do me a huge favor, and just roll with whatever I'm saying," he mumbled.

Stein got to his feet and dusted off his rump, then picked up the chair and straddled it, eyeing the two of them. He scarcely seemed to notice Birkin's screaming and excuses, gazing at Issei.

"Pleased to meet you, Issei-kun~" he said cheerfully. "I'm Dr. Franken Stein. I didn't expect any visitors tonight, or I'd have rolled out the welcome mat. So who did you kill?"

"M-me, I didn't kill anyone!" Issei protested, eyes going wide. "I just... Birkin picked me up. For a visit to your lovely abode. I really like what you've done with the place."

"Or for being furniture, I guess...?" He turned to glance at Birkin. "Your excuses are really stupid, you know that? Incredibly so." Issei turned back to Stein. "P-please be gentle with me."

Birkin frowned down at Issei. "You're a little brat sometimes, you know that. I didn't have to save you from that guy. I could have ignored you."

He clutched Issei to his chest and looked back up at Stein. "Okay, look. We've already had a hell of a night. I didn't go shopping, I actually went to a bar and killed a guy. So. Don't cut the kid open. I think he'd probably have a damn heart attack."

Stein inclined his head to Issei. "You're welcome here, Issei."

"But this is new," Stein went on, lighting up a cigarette and flashing his teeth in a wry grin. "Birkin, you've brought someone here who isn't a murderer or a test subject? Just why did you bring him here?"

"I don't mean to seem ungrateful," Issei mumbled so that, hopefully, only Birkin could hear. "I do appreciate all you've done, I just thought that your excuse was stupid."

...Birkin had killed someone? In a bar? That mean that the man who had been molesting him earlier was now... Issei didn't say a word. Now was not the time to panic. Stein still scared him a little, even if he said that Issei was welcome on the island. Better to let Birkin handle this.

Birkin rolled his eyes. It was late, he was tired, and frankly, he wouldn't mind falling over and sleeping on the floor right about now. "Because. My body aches for him," he said in a deadpan tone.

"Why the hell do you think I brought him here? He needs a ride back to his place and I wasn't about to make him sleep in the boat while we wait for Adachi to get his beauty sleep." He scoffed and let go of Issei finally, folding his arms over his chest.

Stein blinked at Birkin slowly, then shook his head. "Okay," he said. "No need to get all defencive, Birkin. I wasn't accusing you of anything this time."

He shrugged. "At least, not of anything you don't do all the time."

His attention slide to Issei again and he smiled. "Well, I guess we'd better get you set up on the couch. Adachi is asleep at the moment, I think, so you can get your ride home tomorrow. And then I'll take my drunk boyfriend to bed and punish him."

Anyone who knew Issei wouldn't be surprised that at this point, he was stammering and blushing like mad. F-first Birkin's joke, and then Stein's insinuation...!

After a few moments of that, he was able to breathe and compose himself slightly. "Th-thank you?" he answered, not wanting to talk about anything besides his couch for the night.

"You doing okay there, kid?" Birkin snickered slightly at the blushing. Not that he was any better usually, but damn if it wasn't funny. His voice dropped suddenly. "If I don't end up waking up tomorrow, you're fine with asking Adachi yourself, right?"

He scowled slightly. "I don't even know what you're talking about! I do not do anything like this ever!" A small 'hmph!' came out of his throat. Well, dragging people home with him he did quite a bit.

Stein just looked at Birkin, then rolled his eyes. "No, you never bring people home. Wesker must be crazy, and Adachi and Shito were hallucinations. I'll go find some clean bedding for Issei," he said.

He dragged the chair back a little ways, off of the lobby flooring. Then he sat down again and pushed off with one foot, slowly rolling himself back down the hallway.

"...I'm fine." Issei watched Stein go, warily. "May I make an honest comment here? Your boyfriend is a little scary."

Issei sighed. "Yes, I'm fine with asking him. But are you going to be okay? He won't hurt you, will he?" Concern crept into his voice without him even realizing it. "I didn't mean to cause you trouble. I'm very sorry."

"I know, isn't he great?" Birkin said with a very honest, slightly delusional smile.

Birkin simply shrugged. "Yeah, probably. To both." He smirked at the concern. "Don't worry about it, Issei, I can take care of myself. Plus, it's not like Stein's going to kill me. He likes me too much." He ruffled Issei's hair playfully. "You're not causing trouble, it's my own damn fault for drinking." Birkin let out a laugh. "Don't apologize, really, it's nothing!"

"But I don't want you to get hurt... even if you tell me to not apologize, I won't accept it if my presence has led to you being harmed," Issei huffed, feeling his overprotective streak rise within him. "I'll do whatever I can to make this up to you, so just say the word."

Birkin snickered. "So that's how that guy managed to start kissing you. He bought you a drink and made you 'pay him back'." He smirked darkly. "How do you know I'm not going to ask for the same exact thing?"

His face lightened up and he was starting to laugh loudly. "Issei, what world do you live in where you think I don't like it? There really isn't a reason to make this up to me, seriously." He giggled a bit.

Issei rolled his eyes and began to list off reasons. "One, you have a boyfriend. You have no need to turn to me for this sort of thing. Two, your boyfriend is in the building. Seriously annoying him by cheating on him where he could see would be a stupid idea. Three, I know who you are and where to find you. I can easily tell my friends what happened, and then you would seriously regret doing it. And four, I simply trust you not to take advantage of my kindness like that. It isn't worth breaking my trust, is it?"

He raised an eyebrow. "You mean you enjoy that? ...I didn't need to have that much information."

Birkin laughed harder. "Sorry, but you'd just keep insisting on apologizing if I didn't say it!" He ruffled Issei's hair again. "You're adorably innocent sometimes, you know that?"

"But you're right, I wouldn't do that. Because I'm a lot of things, but I'm not a total creep. At least not when it comes to things like that." Birkin smirked and winked.

"I'm not adorable!" Issei squeaked, glaring ineffectively at Birkin but not protesting the touch. "Really, I'm not!"

"...Good. I trust you, but please don't give me reasons to do otherwise," Issei commented, still blushing. "I would hate to lose a friend that way, particularly one I like so much."

"Awww! You're so sweet!" he slurred, dragging Issei closer and into a hug. "We're friends. You trust me and everything." Birkin was grinning like a loon at this point. "Hope you don't mind the couch too much. And if you see a cat wandering around, I promise he's not infected with anything so don't worry too much!"

Issei blinked, but returned the hug. "Of course we're friends. Why wouldn't I trust you, apart from the obvious reasons?" He offered Birkin a small smile. "Don't worry. A monk should be used to much more uncomfortable conditions than a couch. And I like cats, so there shouldn't be any issues there at all."

Stein returned, heralded by a cloud of smoke, with his arms loaded down with a pile of bedding.

"Here we go!" he said around the cigarette in his mouth, starting to spread the sheet over the couch. He had a nice soft duvet and a pillow. Issei should be comfortable.

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