[Video Post]

[unknownrival]

[At first, there's no picture. All that can be seen is a blank screen. However, Issei starts to speak.]

Do you know the festival Ryuujin Matsuri? The dragon god of Fuyuki's river Miongawa rampaged many, many years ago. A traveling monk prayed for three days and three nights. At the end of that, the dragon was converted to Buddhism. The monk joined Ryudoji Temple, and the dragon god taught judo to the monks there.

Myself, I prefer karate.

[Finally a picture appears. It's the hallway of Issei's school. Issei is standing calmly over another male teenager, who is lying on the ground groaning in pain.]

And that's why you're on the floor right now. Hm, that festival is coming up, isn't it? I should be preparing...

((Before anyone gets on my case, him being skilled at karate is obscure, just-translated for me canon. Sob.))

Comments

[material_guy]

Now, now, don't be like that. I like good storytellers.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

It's a very old story. I didn't write it myself.

[material_guy]

It's all in the telling. I'm tryin' to praise you here, Monk.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

...Thank you, then.

[material_guy]

You can do it when you try! Yer welcome, yer welcome!

[stripping.livejournal.com]

Don't make such a big deal out of it.

[material_guy]

I really am just giving you shit on this one.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

You don't think it was a good story?

[material_guy]

Nn? No, no, I really was praising the tellingthing! It's the second part I'm hecklin' ya over.

There're a lot of things I can say "nice job!" to you about, but if you seriously need to be praised for having the decency to give an honest "thanks!" then no wonder I give you so much shit.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

You know, I don't have to deal with this reaght now.

[material_guy]

This mean I'm not gonna be able to talk you into usin' those story tellin' skills to tell a dirty story?

[stripping.livejournal.com]

Aha. No.

[material_guy]

Then, should I try one?

Do you know the story of Ryudo Issei? The closet sex addict of the Ryu-something-temple had a sexual appetite that couldn't be stopped. The monks there prayed for three years. At the end of that, he finally got himself a sexy, fluffy-haired little blonde thing to regularly stick his dick in--rmm, sorry, forgot yer boyfriend's name... Actually, he did it irregularly, 'cause he was a kinky fuh-reak, but, hey, that's neither here nor there. The point is it didn't make him less sexually repressed at all. So random boys still fear running into him in hallways where he's known for havin' violent outbursts 'cause of the whole sex-frustration thing...

[stripping.livejournal.com]

Shut up, shut up, shut up!

[material_guy]

NOW I feel like I did my job~

Well, keep up the good work. Do somethin' entertaining for that festival.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

You're not invited. Everyone else is.

[material_guy]

Hey. It's a Buddhist festival, right? I might learn something or get enlightened or some shit. If monks can convert a raging dragon, even I should be worth a shot.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

I don't care. I'm not inviting you under any circumstances.

[material_guy]

I've invited you to my place before. I was completely hospitable.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

You were a huge jerk about it, making fun of me.

[material_guy]

But I gave you juice and told everyone not to attack you before you showed up.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

Thank you. You're not invited.

[material_guy]

Then there was that time I let you come over to play with everyone when you were a kid. I wasn't mean at all that time.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

I was a child.

[material_guy]

And?