[Forward-dated to tomorrow because I'm in surgery okay I'm *allowed*]

[unknownrival]

[Failed filter away from Diarmuid]
I'd like to speak to someone with medical experience as soon as possible, please. It's somewhat important in the 'oh god oh god oh god' sense of important.

[Failed filter to Diarmuid]
You need to come back right now. I can't tell you this over the internet.

[False pregnancy virus to start us off! Look, it's tomorrow in Australia and I have surgery to do.]

Comments

[fightbymoonlight]

What's wrong, Issei? Is everything alright?

[Locked]

[unknownrival]

Yes, everything's fine. It's just... extremely unexpected.

[Locked]

[fightbymoonlight]

'Unexpected' how?

[Locked]

[unknownrival]

Imightbepregnant.

[Locked]

[fightbymoonlight]

...pardon?

[Locked]

[unknownrival]

I've been gaining weight, have morning sickness, a pregnancy test came out positive... It's either that or cancer.

[Locked]

[fightbymoonlight]

...I'm fairly certain one of those options is impossible, Issei.

As for the other... You should probably go see a doctor.

[Locked]

[unknownrival]

Community.

I have an appointment, though.

[Locked]

[fightbymoonlight]

Not that I doubt the community would do something like this, because we all know it would, but if it is the community's doing, it will probably be temporary and no longer a problem in a couple of days at the most.

That's good.

[Locked]

[unknownrival]

...Oh. Is that so?

[Locked]

[fightbymoonlight]

I haven't been here as long as you, of course, so I might be mistaken. But I haven't seen the community do anything too permanent yet.

[Locked]

[unknownrival]

...I was getting used to the idea of being a father. Mother. Whichever.

[Locked]

[fightbymoonlight]

I think it's probably for the best if the community has no hand in bringing a child into the world. I don't even want to think about what might happen if it did.

Re: [Locked]

[unknownrival]

It would be interesting to say the least...

[Locked]

[fightbymoonlight]

Interesting, sure. But probably also a trainwreck.

[Locked]

[unknownrival]

Probably. You're right.