[Forward-dated to tomorrow because I'm in surgery okay I'm *allowed*]

[unknownrival]

[Failed filter away from Diarmuid]
I'd like to speak to someone with medical experience as soon as possible, please. It's somewhat important in the 'oh god oh god oh god' sense of important.

[Failed filter to Diarmuid]
You need to come back right now. I can't tell you this over the internet.

[False pregnancy virus to start us off! Look, it's tomorrow in Australia and I have surgery to do.]

Comments

[aquaticrush]

Issei? Issei, are you sick? Are you hurt?

[unknownrival]

No. I'm neither of those things.

[aquaticrush]

Are you sure? I'm sorry I'm not a doctor or anything, but I have bandages and rubbing alcohol at my house, o-or pills if you're injured...

[do you even have icons, honestly regene]

[wearsmanymasks]

State the nature of the medical emerge-- ohhhh, it's you. What did you do, let another ancient warrior bleed all over your tatami mats again?

[successful lock]

[unknownrival]

No, it's nothing like that. It's, well...

I have reason to believe I might be pregnant.

[locked]

[wearsmanymasks]

nope nope nope nope nope nope nope

[fightbymoonlight]

What's wrong, Issei? Is everything alright?

[Locked]

[unknownrival]

Yes, everything's fine. It's just... extremely unexpected.

[Locked]

[fightbymoonlight]

'Unexpected' how?

[Video]

[material_guy]

What the hell happened that Lance couldn't protect you from?

[Lock]

[unknownrival]

I might be pregnant.

[Lock]

[material_guy]

Feed me another one.

Seriously, what the fuck happened? You get shanked? Some kinda magic... attack thing? Some kinda disease or infection? The hell kind of emergency do you need a doctor for?

[action]

[croibhristeoir]

[And here is a Lancer with a confused expression that quickly turns to holy shit what the fuck man?????]

[action]

[unknownrival]

[Issei fidgets for a moment after Diarmuid appears. Opens his mouth to speak and finds his mouth dry. Tries again.]

Diarmuid, I... I don't know how to tell you this, it must be as much of a shock to you as it was to me, but...

[He reaches for Diarmuid's hand and places it gently on his stomach.]

We're going to have a baby.

casual warning for liberal use of google translate

[croibhristeoir]

Ní thuigim an. Is é sin dodhéanta, nach bhfuil sé?

['I don't understand. Isn't that impossible?' He spoke urgently, turning steadily more confused at his own words as well.]

... I mo thuairimse, tá mé dearmad conas a labhairt na Seapáine.

['I think I've forgotten how to speak Japanese.']

[voice]

[grey_grief]

What's wrong?

[...Does her voice sound more grown up to you?]

[voice - locked]

[unknownrival]

Might be pregnant.

[voice - locked] 1/2

[grey_grief]

...Well okay then.

[voice - locked]

[grey_grief]

The community knows you're a guy, right?

[chuanifrinn]

What's wrong? Are you hurt? I might have something available in my Runic arsenal...but mostly I can kick whoever's ass that needs it.

[unknownrival]

I don't need anyone's ass kicked and I'm not hurt.

[chuanifrinn]

So why do you need someone with medical experience?

[sandinmyboots]

Hello, I'm the walking cure spell. What's up?

[unknownrival]

I'm pregnant.

[sandinmyboots]

[FALLS OFF HIS CHAIR]

[It's the idea of pregnancy in general that gets him. He can't deal with life showing up! It's terrible. Awful. Nasty. All those...internal fluids... Yuck yuck yuck. It was so much easier to deal with in the context of fighting.]

[But if Kefka doesn't deal with it, someone else will, and then Issei won't owe Kefka a world-sized favor once Kefka gets his 'destroy everything' plan together. Sometimes sacrifices must be made.]

Urgh, pregnancy...with babies and blood and that...yuck! You owe me for being willing to deal with this. First off, should I bring prep for keeping it?