[Forward-dated to tomorrow because I'm in surgery okay I'm *allowed*]

[unknownrival]

[Failed filter away from Diarmuid]
I'd like to speak to someone with medical experience as soon as possible, please. It's somewhat important in the 'oh god oh god oh god' sense of important.

[Failed filter to Diarmuid]
You need to come back right now. I can't tell you this over the internet.

[False pregnancy virus to start us off! Look, it's tomorrow in Australia and I have surgery to do.]

Comments

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[wearsmanymasks]

While you're with the doctor, please get them to check for brain damage.

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[unknownrival]

Unkie-wunkie Regene.

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[wearsmanymasks]

I take it back, I hope your balls drop off in agony.

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[unknownrival]

You're such a good friend.

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[wearsmanymasks]

The best you deserve, to be honest.

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[unknownrival]

I suppose that's true.

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[wearsmanymasks]

Who does it theoretically belong to, anyway?

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[unknownrival]

Diarmuid. I haven't slept with anyone else for a long time.

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[wearsmanymasks]

Can't say I really know him all that well - but he's certainly a better result than some of the other ideas I had.

[locked]

[unknownrival]

Believe me, I know exactly how bad an idea certain people would be.