unknownrival | (no subject)

[Locked to Eris]
I'm finished. Please fulfill your end of the bargain now.
[/Locked]

[Accidental Video Post]
[Issei is shown curled up into a ball on his bed, rocking back and forth. He's talking to himself, seeming as though he's desperately trying to convince himself of his own words - his voice is frantic bordering on hysterical.]

I-I never abandoned them, I tried to save them! I wanted to keep Kuzuki-nii safe and I couldn't, I couldn't protect Caster or anyone, but it's not my fault that they're dead. A-and when Shirou needed protection, it's not as if I ran away, I just left because he told me to. I wouldn't have been able to help him even if I'd stayed. I'm so, so sorry...

I'm not worthless, I can do this much. It isn't as if this is more harm than good, of course not. And it can't be because I'm worthless why they don't want me, don't want to involve me in their lives, don't want to even tell me what's going on, it can't be that. I trust them when they say they have reasons. I don't mess up everything I'm a part of, I'm not more harm than good, I wouldn't be better off just leaving everyone else alone. That isn't true!

I'm not a coward; when she's finished upholding the deal I'll go on and tell everyone what I did and why, like I said I would. B-because I'm not a bad person, and I don't care what they think of me afterward, I did the right thing. Even if the person I did it for hates me for it, I won't mind. Of course not. This was the right thing, it has to be. E-even though everyone decries me for it, surely once I explain they'll understand a little more.

A-and it's fine if I'm stupid and reckless and not worth anything and can't save anyone from being killed or worse and they all condemn me for this. It's fine because I knew that already! It doesn't matter who I hear say it. B-because we're friends and it's fine for them to know my flaws. I don't care.

It's all right if I'm no one, but I still, I still have to be able to protect the people close to me. That's all. If I can do that, everything else is unimportant. And I can do that, at least sometimes. Once. If I can just help him once, that's all I ask.

((Issei doesn't do well with trauma. Replies to comments will be a little while later, after he's calmed down some and put up a brave front. The actual explanation post will be a couple hours after that.))

...I know I said I would give my explanations as soon as possible, but it might be best if I were to wait until I calm down some more.

Hello, Vanessa. I'm almost done, and then we can have that tea we talked about.

Nicholas? I apologize, I hadn't meant for that video to show up.

The Dreaming's meant to frighten people, I suppose. I'll recover soon.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean for this to show up. Please pay me no mind.

Issei! The dreaming show illusions, they're not real. Trust me, I know. Those are your fears.

I know, I know, I know. It's just... it's difficult to forget.

Where is my panther?

And you can't tell everyone once this is done. Why do you think you can?

Right here. Come and get it.

I made you swear that if I did everything I was supposed to, you'd free him. We had no discussions about afterward.

no subject

no subject

no subject

1/2

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

[voice]

1/2

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Anon forever

no subject

no subject

he wants to go there D:

Issei wants a hug.

[Locked]

Re: [Locked]