unknownrival | [Failed lock to Birkin. Pictures may be NSFW on grounds of F/SN worms. Video.]

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[Failed lock to Birkin. Pictures may be NSFW on grounds of F/SN worms. Video.]

[Look, it's Issei standing outside his temple, he's holding a pretty big box of... What are those?

Please don't say those are your new pets, Issei...]

Birkin, I found something for you. Well, more accurately I found something I don't want their current owner to have, I can't really destroy them without risking serious injury to myself, and I'm giving them to you.

These are worms.

((The comments may also be NSFW and possibly triggering? Heavens Feel is not a fun route, it's really not.))

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...Worms. Issei, I'm not going to lie to you, they look like dicks. Dicks with teeth.

[Now that Birkin's seen them, Issei shuts the box and tapes it closed. Can't be too careful.] Since those don't have teeth, they must clearly be worms.

...Dickworms! Why are you giving me dickworms?! I already have one creepy looking penis to deal with!

I am giving you them because you are the best person that I know to deal with containing dangerous creatures, and because you might find them interesting scientifically. They don't even react that way to men from what I'm told, so try not to think of it in a sexual light. Please.

...Oh ew, you tried to use one on yourself didn't you? Issei, that's just not right.

Birkin. If I tried to 'use one on myself', it would eat my spine and part of my brain, crippling me for life. Did I mention I was giving them to you because you know how to deal with dangerous creatures?

Dicks that eat brains. Well, at least it's accurate, I guess. I don't know how I feel about letting these loose on Stein's world though. Maybe I'll just dump them on my world - err, you know. My old world, I mean - and never mention this again...

Or can they be kept in a terrarium for study or something?

Their old owner kept them in the basement. It should be fine in a terrarium - I thought you'd want to study them anyway given that they're used to enhance magical ability and you're all about unnatural things that increase ability - if they're fed. Same kinds of things Henry used to eat.

How do they enhance magical ability? Do you know? Could they even work on someone with no magical ability to begin with? It's not dangerous, is it?

From what Matou told me, if they're implanted in the body they force it to start producing much more mana to keep them satisfied? I don't know if it works on everyone, and I don't know if it's dangerous, but anything with 'implants' in the description I certainly wouldn't use on anyone without understanding it thoroughly, which I don't.

[Actuality: dangerous may or may not include torture-like levels of pain depending on your definition (Shinji didn't mention that to Issei anyway), and idek if they work on non-magical beings or whatever Soul Eater-verse has going for it. Have fun there.]

...When you say "implants"... You don't mean... Ugh, nevermind. That idea was terrible from the get go. I'll run some tests on these things though; see if you need to punch this Matou guy in the nose for me.

I always enjoy excuses to punch Matou in the face. Go right ahead.

Win-win situation then. I'll keep you updated.

Thank you very much. You are, as always, a dear friend.

[He's just staring in horror.]

[The box is now closed and taped shut. You don't have to see them any longer, Kurt.]

They're dangerous and I had to get rid of them off-world. This was intended to be locked.

[Thankfully, but the image is still burning in the in his mind. he's going to have nightmares. And not Blaine touch him until they are like, 30. THANK YOU Issei. b|]

Dear lords, what are those things? I can tell they are dangerous, they have teeth. They are dic...they have teeth! I'm not prone to violence at all but kill them with fire.

[Well, by that time, they'll be married! So Issei's helped~]

They're called Crest Worms, I believe. If I tried to kill them, they would start attacking me, and they would eat my spine and part of my brain, which I am not eager to have happen. I thought Birkin would be better at containing them than I am.

[They probably will be ....but still.]

You can't throw them inside the oven or something? By the time they notice the temperature raising they won't be able to get out. Why do they look like...that?

And why Birkin?

Matou says they're not as stupid as they look... And, well. He also says they tend to eat women's uteri and feed off of sexual pleasure in the brain, besides the spine thing, so I suppose it's an appropriate look...

He has years of experience working with very dangerous creatures - he can handle these.

They don't look stupid, they look freaky. They do WHAT!? ...[Ok the video turns off for a few minutes. Kurt has to throw up. Literally.]

...I'm sorry, but I wasn't going to lie about that.

[Once he's back.] No,no, I didn't want a lie...but I didn't need so many details either. Are all the creatures in your world like this?

You asked why they looked like - never mind. Only the magical ones are this bad, I think.

Oh right, only the magical ones...other monsters penises with no magical abilities are perfectly normal pets.

I meant out of animals in general. All monster - what you said are magical.

How nice. And why your friend had them int eh first palce? How did he catch them?

It's something his family has, according to him. His grandfather wasn't very kind.

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