[Voice]

[unknownrival]

[Utterly dripping with loathing:]

Yes community, another romantic virus was exactly what I needed. Thank you.

Comments

[sandinmyboots]

So, Retasu feels very emotionally close to you? You say she's crushed?

[Kefka is very...flat, tone-wise. It's much different than usual.]

[unknownrival]

She's one of my dearest friends.

[sandinmyboots]

It seemed that she had a backbone when you were 'dating' her.

[unknownrival]

She stood up to Scratch. I'm very proud of her.

[sandinmyboots]

Given that she normally bows to him as if he were a hot knife and she butter, you must be the deciding factor in her behavior with him. Does that follow?

[unknownrival]

I follow. What does that imply?

[sandinmyboots]

That implies....

If dating Issei means that Retasu has a backbone...

And not dating Issei means Retasu is spineless....

Then the important factor in Retasu working with Doc Scratch is Issei.

Therefore, we can assume that Issei may also be a motive in working with Doc Scratch...

[unknownrival]

...Fuck.

[sandinmyboots]

Retasu says that 'I am working with Doc Scratch to help my friends.'

Retasu will not help her friends if she is dating Issei.

Therefore, by 'my friends,' Retasu means Issei.

Therefore, she is doing this for the love of Issei. The threat of the worlds being ruined into infinite SBURBs does not matter without Issei.

[unknownrival]

What am I supposed to do now? I don't know how to convince her...

[sandinmyboots]

Would she listen?

This is for "Issei's good." How would you know what's best for you? Even if you said so - oh, no, you're covering up your own pain, you're pretending it doesn't hurt for her, you poor stoic baby. Or, worse, you haven't realized you love her yet, and she's just trying to help you along the way.

[And Kefka's voice starts to see-saw, his face contorting into a pained sneer.]

She's acting for good and justice and all that chocobo shit. What does reality matter? She's got a grenade to throw herself on for love.

[unknownrival]

Don't talk about her that. Even if she's an idiot, I won't take that kind of talk.

[sandinmyboots]

Oh, I'm sorry, was I talking about her like she was going to doom us all? Oh, I apologize, it's not like she's making a deal with an evil cueball who admitted, under the truth virus, that he's going to use her and he's grooming her, information that I almost died a horrible death to get and I told her and it doesn't look like she's even glanced at yet, someone I've been warning for two damn months about him, don't talk about her like she's throwing it all away for a stupid reason and I'm not allowed to be mad!

[unknownrival]

I did say she was an idiot and she's probably going to doom us all, you're right. You're just not allowed to talk about her like that.

[sandinmyboots]

Ok, yes, I'll sugarcoat the truth for you, fine.

[unknownrival]

Thank you. Now what?

[sandinmyboots]

We stop her. And Scratch. With physical force, if need be. (No Retasu murder, please fear not - I'll stuff her into your temple and you make sure she doesn't leave or contact Scratch until she stops.)

[unknownrival]

I could do that. How do we deal with Scratch?

[sandinmyboots]

I don't know yet. His teleporting and omniscience will make it tricky...I should have killed him when he was mortal, but it's too late for regrets now. Maybe warn everyone?

[unknownrival]

I can do my best. I don't want this to happen any more than you do.

[sandinmyboots]

Then we'll get on it! I'll need to figure out how to get to her, and you can keep an eye on her...

[unknownrival]

I'll be a watchful guardian.

[sandinmyboots]

And maybe she can start to get over whatever it is that's going on.

[unknownrival]

Wouldn't that be nice...

[sandinmyboots]

When I'm the voice of reason in a situation, it's never a good sign.