OOC - meme stolen from everyone ever.

[unknownrival]

Comment with a 5 + 1 list and I'll write a drabble about it! Include the name of the characters, the ship (if applicable), and a general rating to go along with it.

Example: 5 times so-and-so called Issei cute, and one time he called them cute.

Characters: ...uh, just Issei/ewwgirls.

Comments

[clockmaster.livejournal.com]

5 times Hakuba didn't kissed Issei cute, and one time Issei kissed him.

1/(5 + 1) and I will post this right eventually.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

"I enjoyed myself today," Issei told him, standing at the steps to the temple. "Although taking me to Paris was unnecessary, and I would have been happy anywhere-"

"It wasn't a problem, and I enjoyed it too," Hakuba interrupted. "And everyone should be able to see Paris at least once, it's a beautiful city."

"That's true, but..." Issei smiled in return, and finished, "I would have been happy anywhere if it was with you."

Hakuba blinked, and found himself at a momentary loss for words. So Issei continued. "I'd like to be able to do this again sometime - at your convenience, of course. But now I think I should be going back inside. Unless there's something else I have to say first - err, you're not supposed to kiss at the end of a friendly outing, are you?"

The detective chuckled. "No, not usually. Unless you wanted to?"

That caused a frantic shake of the head and a slight blush. "I was just asking! I don't want to do anything wrong, it's just been a while since I've been on a date - friendly outing! I meant a platonic date, really! S-stop laughing at me like that!"

2/(5+1)

[stripping.livejournal.com]

"You feel nice." Issei snuggled further up against Hakuba's chest. "Really, really nice..."

Hakuba blushed, not sure what to do with an armful of drunk and incredibly affectionate Issei. Normally he would've assumed he was just being friendly, but - 'you feel nice'? How was he supposed to take that? "Thanks, but Issei..."

"Hakuba?" Issei's voice was slightly muffled.

"You really shouldn't be doing things like this - you're going to regret them in the morning, when they won't seem as innocent and you'll be sober. I understand that your judgement's impaired, but-"

"Stop talking and cuddle." With that, Issei closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Hakuba sighed, and resigned himself to staying the night and having an extremely awkward conversation in the morning.

3/(5+1), waaaay back in the musical virus.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

"H-hakuba, I realize that they're interesting and all that, but do you really have to touch my wings when you're investigating them?"

Hakuba blinked and pulled his hand away. "Sorry. Did it hurt?"

"No, nothing of the sort!" Issei squeaked, reddening. "Q-quite the opposite. It's a bit strange, and while of course I trust you, I don't think it's appropriate for us to... um, third base."

"...Wait, what?"

4/(5+1), something current!

[stripping.livejournal.com]

Issei stayed in Hakuba's hospital room long after the others had left. Long enough that he was almost falling asleep in the chair by Hakuba's bedside, but kept shaking himself awake to keep up his conversation with Hakuba.

Hakuba noticed. "You can go home if you want to, Issei. I don't mind."

"But you wanted me to keep you up, right? I don't..." Issei paused to stifle a yawn. "I don't mind. If I end up passing out, I apologize for not being able to fulfill my duty."

"It's all right." Hakuba offered him a weak smile. "I don't want you to injure yourself on my account. I'll be fine now."

Issei's words came out in a tired jumble. "But if I leave then I can't protect you from everything, and I want to, I really do."

Hakuba paused, momentarily lost for words. "...Thanks, Issei. But I really will be all right now."

5/(5+1)

[stripping.livejournal.com]

"I should have realized that she would do this..." Hakuba sighed and knelt to get closer to the rabbit. "Can you speak, Issei?"

Issei tried a few awkward vocalizations, but they came out as unintelligible whimpers rather than whatever he had been intending. He shook his head.

"I thought as much. Don't worry, I'll take care of you." Hakuba petted him gently, causing him to color slightly. "Even like this, you blush at the smallest things? You're cute this way."

That caused Issei's eyes to widen and his face turn bright red.

Hakuba chuckled ruefully. "I'm not going to do anything that would make Akako more upset, but at least you weren't turned into a frog."

6/(5+1)

[stripping.livejournal.com]

"Happy birthday, Hakuba," Issei said, against Hakuba's shoulder. "Did you enjoy the party?"

Hakuba smiled and returned the impromptu hug. "I did, thank you for throwing it. You didn't have to."

"But I - we, rather - wanted to. It's your birthday. You deserve something special for it." Issei turned his head enough to gently kiss Hakuba's lips.

"You were too embarrassed to do that at the party," Hakuba commented with a slight chuckle. "What changed?"

"I wouldn't do that in public! N-not that I'm embarrassed or ashamed of you or anything," Issei corrected quickly, "but it's just not appropriate there. There's plenty of things I'd do with you that I wouldn't do in public."

Laughter from behind him caused both of them to turn to look at Akako, and Issei blushed. "Yes, I know what it sounds like, you don't need to inform me. I-I still mean it!"

"You'll let us take you up on that offer, then, Issei-kun~?" Akako asked, a small smirk playing on her features.

"Of course! I meant it!" Issei huffed, before pausing. "A-assuming he wants to, since it is his birthday and all..."

Hakuba's smile widened. "That sounds wonderful."

And so the night went on.

[deadly_garden]

Five times Issei blushed and one time he didn't.

...If that's possible.

1/(5 + 1), this time the one that actually goes to this prompt.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

"So how'd you meet your boyfriend anyway?" Shirou asked, once it had finally gotten through to him that Issei, He Of The Rampant Blushing Around Men, might possibly be romantically interested in men.

Issei paused for a moment, thoughtful. "Well, we met on the community - he mentioned that he was a student council president in his introduction, and I replied. It was a while later that we first met in person during the virus where we had to stay in physical contact for a few days."

"Oh, yeah, you told me about that one, I think. Uh, if you had to keep in contact with him or get sick, what did you do during the nights?" Shirou asked.

"We slept together, obviously," Issei answered, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. "My bed is plenty large enough."

Shirou stared for a long moment, and then replied, "I guess that's one way to do this, since he was your boyfriend..."

"No, he wasn't my boyfriend at the ti- ehhh?" Issei's face started burning up, and he hastened to explain. "I meant that we shared a bed! Nothing untoward occurred! I-it was perfectly innocent, why would you even think otherwise?!"

"Because nobody thinks of just sharing a bed when they're talking about sleeping with their boyfriend, Issei. You don't have to be ashamed about i-"

"Nothing happened!"

2/(5+1)

[stripping.livejournal.com]

Issei did not walk down the school hallway so much as skip down it, a bright smile on his face. "Good morning, everyone!"

The other students stopped and stared. He ignored them, continuing on his merry way.

"...did he just smile at me?" Rin wondered aloud. "Even not stopping to insult me is strange enough."

"You're telling me..." Shirou agreed, sighing. "Something's seriously wrong with him. If I don't come back, assume the worst."

Issei was still grinning when Shirou arrived at the student council room. "Hello, Shirou, it's good to see you again. Did you sleep well?"

"Pretty well, I guess - wait, that's not what's important. Why are you acting like this?" Shirou asked bluntly.

Issei blinked. "Like what? I'm not allowed to be in a good mood?"

"Not like this," Shirou replied, narrowing his eyes. "But what... oh. You got laid last night, didn't you?"

Issei's face turned red. "Huh? No! Of course not! W-we only just kissed, that's all!"

"So that's all it was?" Shirou chuckled, visibly relaxing. "For someone who isn't interested in romance, you're really a huge sap."

3/(5+1)

[stripping.livejournal.com]

"Stay here tonight? Or at least for a while longer?" Issei asked, raising her eyes up to meet Archer's. "It's a little unnerving not being able to return home at will, and... well, it'd be a comfort to have you nearby."

Archer sighed. "I'd like to, but it's more complicated than that. For one thing, where would I sleep?"

"On the other bed, of c..." She trailed off, glancing around the room. "Oh, there's only one bed in here. I guess I'll take the chair, then. What kind of hotel only has one bed in a room anyway?"

"...you bought a room in a love hotel, Issei," he flatly replied. "What did you expect?"

Her face colored. "I-it's not as if I ever intended to use it for that purpose! It was just the only place I could afford to stay! Anyway, I'm sure it's used for innocent reasons all the time, I doubt anyone suspects you of doing anything untoward."

"I doubt they're going to assume otherwise, especially considering I brought clothes." Archer paused for a moment. "At least I decided not to get that school uniform for you in the end."

She raised an eyebrow. "Hm? What would be strange about a man bringing someone a schoolgirl uniform in a hotel? Even in this kind of hotel."

"Never mind, Issei."

4/(5+1)

[stripping.livejournal.com]

A girl was hugging him.

Dimly, Issei wondered how he'd gotten into this situation. Oh, of course he knew that had started when Kujikawa wanted him to help her put on suntan lotion and continued until she'd gotten the idea in her head that he needed more physical contact with women to be comfortable with it.

The more important question was why he, of all people, was being hugged by a woman. Hadn't he done his best to avoid such entanglements with the opposite sex? Had he failed somewhere in his training as a monk? Where had he gone wrong?!

It wasn't too late. He could purify himself the moment he returned home. Everyone was allowed their moment of indiscretion.

...Now if only she would let go, he could stop blushing and start with the purifying.

5/(5+1)

[stripping.livejournal.com]

The birthday gifts Issei received during his second year in the community (also, the first time he'd posted about his birthday at all) included:

Condoms.

A love potion.

A Japanese translation of the Kama Sutra.

More condoms.

Pornography.

Pornography of people he actually knew. (Incidental crushes on those people were not relevant to whether or not this was an incredibly inappropriate gift.)

Some kind of man-eating monster, with a card attached lovingly signed by Eris.

Yet still more condoms.

Needless to say, the next time they met, the senders of those gifts received a glare that would have been steely if he hadn't been blushing so much. Well, except for Eris. She just received a strained "thank you for the lovely gift."

6/(5+1)

[stripping.livejournal.com]

The video had started playing without any input from him, so he decided to pay attention, as it might be important. Very rapidly, it became apparent that it was explicit. Quite explicit. They-are-having-sex-on-camera explicit.

Issei didn't blush. He skipped that step and went straight into fainting.

[steelisblood.livejournal.com]

Five times that Archer frustrated Issei and one time Issei frustrated Archer.

1/(5 + 1)

[stripping.livejournal.com]

"Listen, Archer, I'm only going to say this once. Viruses are outside of your control. Therefore, you are not at fault for spending the day with me instead of Tohsaka, even if it was Valentine's Day. You do not need to do penance and prove your loyalty after 'betraying' her, especially considering that you have died for Tohsaka." Issei scowled. "Nothing I'm saying is getting through to you, is it? I don't know why I even bother."

2/(5+1)

[stripping.livejournal.com]

Archer's voice was curt. "Issei, why are you on a crime spree?"

Issei swiveled around, startled. "How did you get in my room?!"

"Your brother let me in, and that's not important right now." The Servant narrowed his eyes. "Answer me."

"I already told you, I can't tell you. I'd like to, but I can't," Issei informed him.

"That isn't an answer."

"I can't give you an answer."

"Well, why not?!"

"You of all people should understand about binding agreements! I'm not allowed to tell you anything!" Issei hmmphed and turned his back to Archer.

Archer sighed. "...So that's how it's going to be, then."

"It took you that long to figure it out?" Issei grumbled. "I wasn't being subtle."

3/(5+1)

[stripping.livejournal.com]

"I want to, try to give Archer everything: freedom from his fate, someone he can trust, someone to listen to him, a home to come back to, protection from whatever would hurt him, real happiness, all of those things-"

Issei sighed. "And he wants a girlfriend."

4/(5+1), and pretend Archer went to that beach trip thing.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

"Archer, you really ought to put on suntan lotion."

"I'm not exactly pale," Archer pointed out. "It isn't necessary. Besides, my skin's already burnt."

"Just because you made your skin explode or whatever doesn't mean that you can't be harmed by ultraviolet radiation," Issei grumbled. "Anyway, I brought you some low SPF lotion, so you have no excuse not to use it."

Archer raised an eyebrow. "I don't, do I? In that case, who's going to help me apply it?"

"I'll help, of course, what do you n..." Issei trailed off, turning a light shade of red. "Ah, th-that's..."

"Honestly," Archer replied with a sigh. "Most people don't blush over just the thought of touching someone else."

"P-prolonged contact! And you're shirtless, so the reaction is justified!"

"Whatever you say."

"It really is! Really!"

5/(5+1)

[stripping.livejournal.com]

"Bondage pants. Hmmph." The term was a bit crass, but they were Archer's clothes, so he could call them what he wished. Anyway, wearing leather pants all the time was a bit crass in and of itself. Perhaps 'crass' wasn't the right word...

"Geeze... Who wears leather pants and then gets upset when people are attracted to him? I-it's his own fault for wearing flattering clothing and just generally being attractive! He has no right to complain."

6/(5+1)

[stripping.livejournal.com]

After everything was over, Archer had one thing to say.

"All of this. Making that deal, risking your life to fulfill it. Why would you do something so foolish? There was only a small chance that you would survive, let alone succeed."

Issei just tilted his head to one side.

"Because you're dear to me and I couldn't allow you to remain in your state. You're my friend, so it's natural for me to do everything in my power to help you."

It was irritating, because that was the one reason that Archer couldn't get angry at him for. "...You idiot."

Issei smiled at him. "Yes, I know."

[heavenly-home.livejournal.com]

Five times Issei blushed himself into a sputter...and one time he kept it together.

1/(5 + 1)

[stripping.livejournal.com]

Issei did not like to use the word 'flailing' in relation to anything he might have done. Nor did he accept the use of 'spluttering', 'tomato face', '*keyboard smash*', and the like. He wasn't even all that fond of using 'blushing', although he couldn't avoid admitting to that one.

There were a few occasions, however, where Issei couldn't deny that any or all of the above were appropriate terms to describe what happened. The first occasion being, of course, that time Shirou told him to strip.

I-in his defense, what else was he supposed to do? It was completely sudden and out of nowhere! A-and he wanted him to, to, and Issei thought that he was going to - akldsklfkslf.

2/(5+1)

[stripping.livejournal.com]

Even as an incredibly happy, affectionate drunk who loved his fellow human beings, there were some things that Issei simply could not tolerate.

"You, that's, d-don't post practically nude pictures of Rider! Even if you're married, it's still not allowed! And I don't want to see that! Why would you even-?! Argh!"

3/(5+1), and I thought I promised myself I'd never use tildes IC.

[stripping.livejournal.com]

Issei waited for a moment after turning on the water to make sure that it was loud enough to muffle his own voice. Not that he expected anyone to be listening to him shower, and he'd done this plenty of times, but one couldn't be too careful, particularly not if-

"When the night breaks, anyone can be a hero~"

-you were going to sing in the shower. He didn't need to give anyone else another method of embarrassing him, after all.

As expected, none of the other monks could hear him over the sound of the water. Issei had not, however, planned for the possibility that the community would post a video of his shower to his journal. They didn't even have a camera in there! ...Or at least, he hoped they didn't.

It took someone specifically pointing it out to him for him to realize that, besides there being a video of him singing, there was now a video of him naked on the internet.

In the ensuing panic and spluttering, he failed to notice that the video never panned below his chest. It would have been small comfort nonetheless - it was still a naked video! Everyone knew it was, and the suggestion of it was just as bad as outright showing it! He would never be able to show his face again!