(no subject)

[unknownrival]

While he isn't the king of making attention-grabbing introductions, you absolutely should welcome Emiya Shirou into the community. As his best friend, it's my responsibility that he feel as comfortable as he can in a world-spanning sentient website of little relation to ducks.

...And. I'm just happy to see him again.

Comments

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[stripping.livejournal.com]

I will not force him to drink. I will not encourage him to drink. I will not get him drunk without his knowledge.

If I see you doing any of those things to him, you'll suffer for it. You're not my friend yet, and certainly not on his level.

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[brbslashing.livejournal.com]

I'm not allowed to suggest it?!

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[stripping.livejournal.com]

Of course you are. I'm just saying that it really annoys me when you do, and actually doing something is out of the question.

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[brbslashing.livejournal.com]

Okay what if I'm really subtle about it?

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[stripping.livejournal.com]

Describe?

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[brbslashing.livejournal.com]

I can use metaphors!

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[stripping.livejournal.com]

Metaphors are fine.

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[brbslashing.livejournal.com]

Similes?

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[stripping.livejournal.com]

Similes also. Extended metaphors or similes, even.

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[brbslashing.livejournal.com]

Descriptions without actually saying the word?

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[stripping.livejournal.com]

How explicit?

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[brbslashing.livejournal.com]

I won't use the actual word?

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[stripping.livejournal.com]

But you'll describe it.

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[brbslashing.livejournal.com]

But I won't define it?

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[stripping.livejournal.com]

You'll traumatize him with depictions. Unacceptable.

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[brbslashing.livejournal.com]

Uhg!

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[stripping.livejournal.com]

Can you strike a balance between 'completely subtle' and 'pornographic'?

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[brbslashing.livejournal.com]

...Wait who said anything about pornographic?

WHERE IS YOUR MIND ISSEI?

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[stripping.livejournal.com]

I remember your introduction.

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[brbslashing.livejournal.com]

Yeah but that was an accident and we're talking about alcohol right now. I'm not going to lock him in a room and force him to watch porn all da--

Actually that might not be a bad idea, I could just throw him at you afterward and see what happened.

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[stripping.livejournal.com]

Please don't. Don't don't don't don't.

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[brbslashing.livejournal.com]

Give me five good reasons why not.

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[stripping.livejournal.com]

1. I will hate you forever.
2. His girlfriend will kill you.
3. He'll be traumatized.
4. It would be entirely too difficult to lock in someone who makes swords with his mind and can break most doors.
5. It won't come close to working.

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[brbslashing.livejournal.com]

4 and 5 aren't good reasons, they're obstacles to overcome! Try again!

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[stripping.livejournal.com]

They are fantastic reasons.