(no subject)

[unknownrival]

While he isn't the king of making attention-grabbing introductions, you absolutely should welcome Emiya Shirou into the community. As his best friend, it's my responsibility that he feel as comfortable as he can in a world-spanning sentient website of little relation to ducks.

...And. I'm just happy to see him again.

Comments

[locked]

[stripping.livejournal.com]

Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't realize. Forgive me.

[locked]

[notahandbag.livejournal.com]

Stein's missing one of his too. We are toeless. We are missing a toe.

Well technically we traded toes, but it still bears repeating that you got lucky you didn't get reminded of your first foray into kinky sex every time you take your shirt off. Because it's a harsh reminder. Yes, I am speaking from experience here.

[locked]

[stripping.livejournal.com]

Are you trying to distract me from what I have to call a violation by discussing the state of your toes?

[locked]

[notahandbag.livejournal.com]

Uh. Depends. Is it working or am I coming off as an ass?

[locked]

[stripping.livejournal.com]

You know you're one of my dearest friends, but yes, you are in fact coming off as an ass.

[locked]

[notahandbag.livejournal.com]

Oh, uh.

Let me try again.

I'm sorry? Do you want to talk about it? Need advice? A rape kit? An abortion?

[locked]

[stripping.livejournal.com]

Let's rule out the abortion because I'm male and it was a year ago. The rape kit isn't necessary or useful, again because of the time that's passed.

What advice do you have to give?

[locked]

[notahandbag.livejournal.com]

Uh...

Um...

I'm really bad at stuff like this.

[locked]

[stripping.livejournal.com]

That's all right. I knew that about you already, so it isn't a problem.

If you will continue being my friend, then that will be a greater blessing than any advice you could give.

[locked]

[notahandbag.livejournal.com]

Nope, I'm going to dump you on your ass now that I know you're a rape magnet.

[locked]

[stripping.livejournal.com]

William, please don't make me regret telling you about this within five minutes of telling you about this.

[locked]

[notahandbag.livejournal.com]

Sorry. I swear I won't talk about it or whatever.

[locked]

[stripping.livejournal.com]

That's good.

I wouldn't mind if you came over. Ravishing not necessary.

[locked]

[notahandbag.livejournal.com]

I'll just ravish you some other time. You probably need a hug though. So I will ravish you with hugs.

[locked]

[stripping.livejournal.com]

I am helpless against the might of your hugs. I will only be able to beg for mercy that will never come.

Re: [locked]

[notahandbag.livejournal.com]

I might be terrible at giving advice but at least I can do some things right. Even if those things are zombies, hugs, and giving head, I'm happy.

[locked 1/2]

[stripping.livejournal.com]

Oh, so we're similar in two out of three ways.

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[stripping.livejournal.com]

What if I learned to think before I answered. What if that was possible?

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[notahandbag.livejournal.com]

Well if losers who give good head like me can nab a guy as handsome and charming as Stein, I'm sure you can manage to start thinking.

[locked]

[stripping.livejournal.com]

I don't think he's dating you because of your aptitude in bed. I hope not.

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[notahandbag.livejournal.com]

I quote directly: "I suppose even someone as handsome and charming as myself can fall for a loser who gives good head."

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[notahandbag.livejournal.com]

But you know I-I think he was joking. I'm pretty he was. I laughed.

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[stripping.livejournal.com]

...If I were going to date you, that wouldn't be the only reason.

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[notahandbag.livejournal.com]

I know. But you disagree with my work. He and I have something in common there. Besides, he likes making fun of me and winding me up, so I'm pretty sure it was meant to be a joke.

[locked]

[stripping.livejournal.com]

Right. If it wasn't for your work, I probably would have asked you out three times over by now.