[Forward-dated to tomorrow because I'm in surgery okay I'm *allowed*]

[unknownrival]

[Failed filter away from Diarmuid]
I'd like to speak to someone with medical experience as soon as possible, please. It's somewhat important in the 'oh god oh god oh god' sense of important.

[Failed filter to Diarmuid]
You need to come back right now. I can't tell you this over the internet.

[False pregnancy virus to start us off! Look, it's tomorrow in Australia and I have surgery to do.]

Comments

[sandinmyboots]

I meant -

["Kefka, are you ok?"]

[He's waiting for the other shoe to drop.]

Ugh, nevermind. Let's go inside. Some of the stuff I need to ask is kind of private.

[unknownrival]

Right. This way.

[Issei's room is cozy, politely put.]

[sandinmyboots]

[Kefka steals a few pillows for sitting upon.]

Ok. First off, have you always happened to have a uterus, or did the community give you one magically?

[Some men have uteruses! Kefka wants to check how much of this, if any, is magically induced.]

[unknownrival]

None of my doctors before have said anything about me having a uterus. I'm going to go with the community on this one.

[sandinmyboots]

Alright. I'd guess that moved around some organs, but it doesn't seem like it's caused any organ failure or we'd already know. Because you'd be dying. Have you ever seen kidney failure?

[Kefka realizes he's rambling due to his nerves and shakes his head, getting himself back on task.]

Anyway, I don't know enough about this kind of thing to do a physical, so I'd like you to lie down and get comfortable so I can do a magical scan. I also brought some panaceas for you to take later; they won't completely nix the symptoms, but they won't be as bad.

[unknownrival]

[Issei shrugs and settles back on his bed, making himself comfortable.] Will this do, doctor Kefka?

[sandinmyboots]

That'll work. I'll start scanning now.

[Kefka makes himself comfortable and drags his hands apart as if making a giant circle in the air between them.] Libra.

Hmmm...Looks like it's rerouted some of your blood vessels to feed in to the uterus. I think that's healthy, since that [long pause, choosing words carefully] the baby will require nutrients. It's not very far along; it wouldn't be visible to the naked eye, it's so small. I doubt it'd show up in a scan unless it was a midwife's specialized scan, but I don't know much about medical witching sub-fields.

I don't think you have to worry about it rupturing organs or anything from sticking an extra organ in. At this point, I'd just monitor your pregnancy symptoms.

[unknownrival]

Thank you. I'm very grateful to you for your help.

[sandinmyboots]

You're welcome. Let me show you how to take the panaceas.

[Kefka goes into his pack and pulls out a set of panaceas - small bags of herbs tied with red ribbon.]

Take me to your kitchen.

[unknownrival]

[Issei gets up and starts leading Kefka to the kitchen.]

How have you been?

[sandinmyboots]

I'm existing. The world goes on. I'm preparing for the final boss battle, and I pester people on here. It's...it's like one of those montages in the Earth movies where the calendar flies past.

[unknownrival]

Too boring for a real movie recording, hm.

[sandinmyboots]

Yes. It's just good for killing time. You know, I thought they'd have shown up by now.

[unknownrival]

Maybe they're not ready?

[sandinmyboots]

Nope! They're still gathering supplies and figuring out where everyone is. I scrambled their little group really well!

[unknownrival]

Congratulations. You're very talented.

[sandinmyboots]

I am, aren't I~?

[sandinmyboots]

But I wish they'd speed up a bit. It's getting boring waiting for them to show up.

[unknownrival]

Sadly I don't think they work according to your schedule.

[sandinmyboots]

Nope. I don't want to rush them, either. It's not like I get free redos.

[unknownrival]

Have to have the perfect final battle?