unknownrival | (no subject)

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While he isn't the king of making attention-grabbing introductions, you absolutely should welcome Emiya Shirou into the community. As his best friend, it's my responsibility that he feel as comfortable as he can in a world-spanning sentient website of little relation to ducks.

...And. I'm just happy to see him again.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

..Do I need to have sex with you this instant, or can I make myself look presentable first?

Nah, you can brush your hair first if you want.

I'll do that so it looks fetching while I'm ~ravished~.

Excellent. I'll meet you over at your place and get right on that ravishing.

Don't keep me waiting. I might find someone else if you take too long. Pure and innocent flowers are in high demand, you know.

Oh good, then I can take my sweet time and not worry about you finding anyone else.

William! Don't say things like that!

Edited 2011-07-13 14:01 (UTC)

Hehehe sorry! But it was too easy.

Just like you.

Buh-dum tchhh!

I think that we should stop this joke now.

Alright, alright, so touchy, jeez. You know I'm kidding Issei, you don't have to act like you're a victim of a sexual harassment case all the time.

...Would it be all right if I was completely honest, or would you make fun of me?

Uh well we're friends so honesty is usually part of it. And I won't make fun of you. ~~For now, at least.~~

Then, I'll continue. Do you remember when we had our Shadows on the community? Mine was born out of my insecurity and feeling lower than my friends, and thus was desperate to do anything to please the people I knew. Hakuba's felt betrayed, and sought to control and use other people for his own gain.

Do you see the direction that this is headed?

Yeah, I think I'm seeing it. But that was over a year ago you crazy asshole! Jesus, Issei you could have told me about something like that. I know we weren't really close friends just then, but why not tell me when we did get closer?

How is that something you can work into a conversation? 'By the way, one of my best friend's Shadows had sex with me while writing insults on me in my own blood and I let him do it because I thought it was the only way he would pay me any attention. So how are you doing, how's the family?'

Okay you have a point there. Still you could have... Brought it up eventually. And was it really that bad? Holy shit.

It's eventually now, and I'm bringing it up. At least Shadows don't scar... that would have been difficult to explain. So that's good.

Fuck you they don't scar. I only have nine of my own toes.

Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't realize. Forgive me.

Stein's missing one of his too. We are toeless. We are missing a toe.

Well technically we traded toes, but it still bears repeating that you got lucky you didn't get reminded of your first foray into kinky sex every time you take your shirt off. Because it's a harsh reminder. Yes, I am speaking from experience here.

Are you trying to distract me from what I have to call a violation by discussing the state of your toes?

Uh. Depends. Is it working or am I coming off as an ass?

You know you're one of my dearest friends, but yes, you are in fact coming off as an ass.

Oh, uh.

Let me try again.

I'm sorry? Do you want to talk about it? Need advice? A rape kit? An abortion?

Let's rule out the abortion because I'm male and it was a year ago. The rape kit isn't necessary or useful, again because of the time that's passed.

What advice do you have to give?

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