[Forward-dated to tomorrow because I'm in surgery okay I'm *allowed*]

[unknownrival]

[Failed filter away from Diarmuid]
I'd like to speak to someone with medical experience as soon as possible, please. It's somewhat important in the 'oh god oh god oh god' sense of important.

[Failed filter to Diarmuid]
You need to come back right now. I can't tell you this over the internet.

[False pregnancy virus to start us off! Look, it's tomorrow in Australia and I have surgery to do.]

Comments

[Lock]

[unknownrival]

I might be pregnant.

[Lock]

[material_guy]

Feed me another one.

Seriously, what the fuck happened? You get shanked? Some kinda magic... attack thing? Some kinda disease or infection? The hell kind of emergency do you need a doctor for?

[Lock]

[unknownrival]

No, I'm serious.

[Lock]

[material_guy]

I'm willing to see about helpin' you here, so try not to assume I'm a complete idiot. What's actually goin' on? I dunno why you don't want everyone to know about it but...

[Lock - Video]

[unknownrival]

[Issei looks annoyed. He also looks like he's put on some weight in the belly area lately.]

And try not to doubt my honesty.

[Lock - Video]

[material_guy]

You're serious.

[Lock - Video]

[unknownrival]

Yes. As a matter of fact I am.

[Lock - Video]

[material_guy]

...It's gotta be a virus.

[Lock - Video]

[unknownrival]

I really hope I don't have to carry to term in a virus-span of time.

[Lock - Video]

[material_guy]

I really hope we don't ever gotta find out where it's comin' out of in any span of time.

[Lock - Video]

[unknownrival]

C-section would be best...

[Lock - Video]

[material_guy]

Why's it gotta be a pregnant virus... That's scary even if I dodged the bullet this time...

[Lock - Video]

[unknownrival]

No one wants to see you pregnant.

[Lock - Video]

[material_guy]

No one wants me knocking anyone up, either. Just think about all the people I've banged coming to me telling me to take responsibility or something... Guess even the community wouldn't wish a Dad like me on a kid. Even a kid that'll never get born.

[Lock - Video]

[unknownrival]

I'd be surprised if you ever paid child support.

[Lock - Video]

[material_guy]

"Child support"? Me?

[Lock - Video]

[unknownrival]

Child support. Where you pay the other parent so that she can take care of the kids you fathered.

[Lock - Video]

[material_guy]

Don't think the community's gonna pay you child support, kid.

[Lock - Video]

[unknownrival]

I wouldn't expect it to.

[Lock - Video]

[material_guy]

How's Lance gonna handle you havin' another man--...wo-... another...'s baby?

[Lock - Video]

[unknownrival]

It's his.

[Lock - Video]

[material_guy]

So you're gonna lie to him.

That's just about the worst kinda lie you can feed a guy, you know.

He knows the community. He'll understand it ain't your fault.

[Lock - Video]

[unknownrival]

I haven't had sex with anyone else for ages - whose else could it be? Pregnancy takes some time to show.

[Lock - Video]

[material_guy]

A guy can't knock another guy up. It's the community's.

[Lock - Video]

[unknownrival]

The community did not have sex with me.